GOLB WAL WALBOL BOB EHT

all of my bookmarks.

2011-11-22T01:42:00.002-06:00

Jay-Z, a Master of Occult Wisdom?

Imperialist Legacies in Hawai'i's Textbooks

A History of the Wife

Horse Mask

This is...telling.

NOOOOOOOOOO!

2011-05-24T23:57:00.002-05:00

I'm crushed.

dream$

2010-09-04T02:52:00.000-05:00

I dreamed that I was making a cup of tea; when I stirred the water, an abundance of leaves and larvae floated to the surface.

Dave's not here/Bad Craziness

2010-08-23T01:36:00.004-05:00

Memory snapshot:

I'm in the 4th grade, and it's an early spring Saturday. It's cold and rainy outside, and I'm listening to Cheech and Chong reel-to-reels with my dad, in the basement of (what is now) my mother's house.

Memory snapshot:

It's my first week of 8th grade, and I'm getting odd questions about my "home life" from my 8th grade social studies teacher. She seems satisfied with my responses, but keeps looking at my t-shirt. Later, I learn that the "cool drawing" on the front of the shirt is in fact a Ralph Steadman illustration from Fear And Loathing.

Some comments from my Mysterious Chinese Spambot(s?), as translated by Babel Fish

2010-08-02T22:10:00.005-05:00

Helps you to flush the human spirit ~ message to support you while convenient

Joyful, is enjoys the work process the result

Just do it!*

Turns toward the star to drive straight ahead the straight run person, the inverse proportion hesitates on the col person, easier to serve the purpose.

we‘re so proud of you!

The work, is love concrete application ~~~~ diligently!

When person innermost feelings can hold the thing which different conflicts mutually, this person then started becomes has the value.

Every passes through must leave behind the trace! The message is not unfair to you!

Thanks your share, wishes you to live is forever multicolored!

Is together might as well the multipurpose eye with the human to speak, multipurpose mouth ponder

*This was in response to a post quoted entirely from Infinite Jest. It is my favorite.

the numbers.

2010-07-29T05:47:00.006-05:00

I have had:

11 jobs
7 addresses
2 homes
9 bicycles
2 cars (3 engines)
4 boyfriends
2 best friends
0 arrests.

SUCCEEDED/SECEDED

2010-07-06T20:02:00.006-05:00

I dreamed that a warning of imminent nuclear holocaust popped up at the top of Firefox's "Latest Headlines" tab. T.V. confirmed the news, so I put on my favorite dress & my grandmother's black boots, curled up in a giant bed with my best friends, and waited unconcernedly for death.

Later, I dreamed that I had to swim through a series of underground caverns to prevent a small Filipino boy from being maimed by a garage door. I succeeded.

Belated Birthday Blog

2010-06-24T01:48:00.005-05:00

I forgot to post a birthday blog this year.

I did take this picture, though.

Twenty-four.

p.s. I love you, mysterious Chinese spambots. I thought that nobody read this blog anymore (I'm feeling a bit self-conscious as a result of your unexpected presence, to be honest), but thanks for being part of this internet adventure.

Why Glee is both awesome and terrible:

2010-05-26T03:53:00.004-05:00

"My dads can't sew...I really need a mom right now."

"the worker freaks is trying to protect the queen freak."

I would save time - and probably have more fun - if I read transcriptions of this show instead of watching it.

2010-05-18T23:22:00.001-05:00

" It’s of some interest that the lively arts of the millenial U.S.A. treat anhedonia and internal emptiness as hip and cool. It’s maybe the vestiges of the Romantic glorification of Weltschmerz, which means world-weariness or hip ennui. Maybe it’s the fact that most of the arts here are produced by world-weary and sophisticated older people and then consumed by younger people who not only consume art but study it for clues on how to be cool, hip - and keep in mind that, for kids and younger people, to be hip and cool is the same as to be admired and accepted and included and so Unalone. Forget so-called peer-pressure. It’s more like peer-hunger. No? We enter a spiritual puberty where we snap to the fact that the great transcendent horror is loneliness, excluded encagement in the self. Once we’ve hit this age, we will now give or take anything, wear any mask, to fit, be part-of, not be Alone, we young. The U.S. arts are our guide to inclusion. A how-to. We are shown how to fashion masks of ennui and jaded irony at a young age where the face is fictile enough to assume the shape of whatever it wears. And then it’s stuck there, the weary cynicism that saves us from gooey sentiment and unsophisticated naivete. Sentiment equals nativete on this continent...

...Hal, who’s empty but not dumb, theorizes privately that what passes for hip cynical transcendence of sentiment is really some kind of fear of being really human, since to be really human (at least as he conceptualizes it) is probably to be unavoidably sentimental and naive and goo-prone and generally pathetic, is to be in some basic interior way forever infantile, some sort of not-quite-right-looking infant dragging itself anaclitically around the map, with big wet eyes and froggy-soft skin, huge skull, gooey drool. One of the really American things about Hal, probably, is the way he despises what it is he’s really lonely for: this hideous internal self, incontinent of sentiment and need, that pules and writhes just under the hip empty mask, anhedonia."

D.F.W.

2010-05-03T04:26:00.006-05:00

In the past 36 hours, I have: attended the wedding of an old friend; made peace with my high school nemesis; gone grocery shopping for several metal bands; lost my bedsheets and a hubcap; slept for 180 minutes.

I'm noting this to remind myself that I am being myopic when I start thinking that my life is mundane, or become anxious wondering whether or not "follow what's most interesting" is a legitimate guiding principle.

2010-05-02T02:03:00.003-05:00

This might be dumb, but I want to start throwing birthday parties for The Universe every year. Granted, it would have to be in earth years and couldn't really be cosmologically accurate, but still. I like the idea of ritualizing a celebration of the fact that everything exists.

2010-04-26T02:22:00.002-05:00

Pro Tip:

Watch (or DVR) Strictly Global.

Channel 23 in Lawrence.

2010-04-06T21:33:00.002-05:00

Talked to my mom this weekend about souls needing worthy opponents; not in a combative sense, but in needing to surround ourselves with people who will call us on our bullshit, and offer fresh perspectives. Strong people with gentle spirits. This is what I want/what I want to be.

Strange Happenings.

2010-03-28T05:19:00.011-05:00

I (serendipitously) share a house with a girl I've known since we were both 5 years old. She and I also (serendipitously) lived on the same dorm floor freshman year. We have never kept close contact (or any contact at all, really; she just sort of "shows up" in my life every few years), but we have a lot in common - the sorts of things that are important to her are important to me, as well. Despite having shared housing for over a year, and having shared interests for nearly a decade, we are still not particularly close friends. What's the point?

I think it is beautiful and weird that self-conscious organisms exist at all, and the idea that two human lives could be so oddly (and seemingly uselessly) intertwined seems almost sacred, even though I don't really believe in god.

And I think that's kind of nice.

Even if "everything" is intrinsically random and chaotic, it is nice to build a grid. It is nice to plot points, even though they don't seem to really "matter" (whatever that means).

Life is strange, and wonderful.
And awful. And strange. And wonderful.

I want to hold life's threads loosely - to appreciate the patterns that emerge when they weave together, but ultimately know that it's all ephemeral, and that order is illusory. There is a difference between loving every second, and being content in every moment; bliss is contained in the latter.

I only get a few trips around the sun, and I want to embrace every weird moment of this adventure, for better or for worse. Life is too short to get dragged down by bullshit. You know?

I want:

2010-03-24T03:31:00.003-05:00

my brain to hold still for FIVE SECONDS. JUST ONCE. PLEASE.
no more Art History tests, ever.
to live below a tenant that isn't absolutely horrid at least once in my life.
to stop bitching just because I'm cranky and tired.
to want things that aren't all about me.
an accordion.

DREAM MAJORS

2010-03-24T02:04:00.004-05:00

Ranting About Sexism In Advertising
Reality TV Studies
Jeopardy!

2010-03-05T07:38:00.004-06:00

I just rushed outside to watch the garbage men empty our dumpster, because I've been half-wondering about how garbage trucks actually *work* for a while now.

I am a huge nerd.

......................................................................................................

Spring has made me feel uneasy for as long as I can remember. I think it might make more sense for New Years to be in April, than in January.

I don't know what I want.

weird weird weird.

2010-03-05T03:03:00.004-06:00

I caught myself yelling obscenities at Rep. Stupak on NPR today; I know that I've defended compromise in the past, but seriously? Fuck that guy.

2010-03-03T02:06:00.004-06:00

I know that it's probably a tall order, but I hope that Lost leans more towards a Dark Materials ending than a Narnia one (and if you followed me on that, let's get married). I want the bad guy to turn out to be the good guy, and I want him to win. I also wish that there was a female character that I didn't hate, but whatever.

2010-02-28T08:25:00.007-06:00

Doing the "right thing" isn't always the best thing - being a decent person can still feel pretty terrible. Sometimes I really can't tell if most people are assholes, or if I just happen to know a lot of them. I know that sounds snarky and smug, but it's a genuine question for me.

This is just a note to myself.

2010-02-24T00:59:00.003-06:00

Don't go to Dillons when you're high. Anymore.

2010-02-23T19:27:00.004-06:00

I keep seeing this commercial, and I don't know exactly why, but it's super depressing.

Seemed like an appropriate thing to share in these nasty last weeks of winter. Enjoy!

Dream Bed.

2010-02-13T09:48:00.006-06:00

My mom rented Help! for me on a sick day when I was in elementary school. Though most are irrelevant to the plot, some of the movie's more charming moments are set in the Beatles' fictional shared apartment, which is divided horizontally into rooms personalized for each band member.

John Lennon's lowered, book-filled bunk has been the Bed Of My Dreams for most of my life. I don't know if I'd want to literally climb out of bed every morning, but having one of these babies is a Life Goal, so it doesn't matter if it's practical or not.

Anyway, the point is this: if you build me an underground Bookbed, I will reward you with treasures beyond your wildest dreams.

p.s. - here's the movie. I really like it, but a taste for kitsch (and the Beatles) is definitely a prerequisite for its enjoyment.

2010-02-09T07:27:00.002-06:00

Not everything is worth preserving.

Guiding Principles.

2010-01-29T17:25:00.000-06:00

1. Work hard, live simply, share what you have, and take care of one another.

2. Don't be a shallow whore.

Between the two, I do okay.

2010-01-09T05:27:00.000-06:00

I worry too much.

I have a wonderful life.

2010-01-05T04:07:00.002-06:00

Why I Will Never Have Children, Reason #223: I could not possibly let them enjoy a Disney movie in peace without pointing out the multitudes of racist, sexist, and bigoted undertones.

Last Week I:

2010-01-05T01:52:00.000-06:00

Was in the same state as Barack Obama and Rush Limbaugh.

And Rush Limbaugh almost died!

Saw a REAL SHARK FOR REAL UNDERWATER.

Went on a Mormon-sponsored boat tour through Polynesian culture.

2009-12-15T03:25:00.000-06:00

Been drawing strange, strange things lately. Smoking dog heads, talking birthday cakes, and rocket-foxes. They're less creepy than they sound, but, still.

This is what finals do to me. I will be less crazy soon.

2009-11-29T02:36:00.000-06:00

Started a new blog project. Blogject. It's mostly for myself, but maybe you'll enjoy it, too. Anyway, here it is.

E-mails from Family Members: Installment One

2009-11-17T22:01:00.001-06:00

Date: June 10, 2009.
Subject: try this for the dinoinsurgency video soundtrack
Sender: Paul Grigsby, stepfather.

Arianne, here’s a little birthday cheer for you. I thought it would sound good on the dinoinsurgency video. I made it with my younger brother Bill many years ago using a squeeze toy that popped its eyes and mouth out when you would squeeze it. It also made a really cool noise. We also had a bunch of 4 foot circus balloons that we would fill and then let the air out at various rates depending on whether we wanted a small dinosaur or big dino sound. You’ll see what I mean when you play it. We had a bucket with some nails in it and rolled them around making it sound like chains. Then we slowed it down and wallah! We have dragons and dinosaurs all in one happy place. Let me know how you like it.

Paulington

The e-mail's audio attachment can be found here. For maximum impact, I recommend listening to it while watching the aforementioned video.

Stupak-Pitts Amendment

2009-11-10T23:36:00.000-06:00

From Melissa McEwan via Jezebel:

"There is no fucking "common ground" between people who believe in women's right to autonomy over their own bodies and people who believe that women's bodies are property of the government, or their doctors, or their husbands, or anyone else who gets a vote on whether they have to be pregnant even if they don't want to be. Either you stand on the side of women's equality and independence or you don't.

It is fucking ludicrous that our DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENT refuses to take a stand on this issue.

And this mealy-mouthed bullshit-"I laid out a very simple principle, which is this is a health care bill, not an abortion bill"-is contemptibly craven. I'm absolutely fucking livid that a man who had the audacity to claim to be a champion of women's right to choose would abandon women in this way."

Well said, sister. The doublespeak is really frustrating, and I'm sad that a bill intended to expand the availability of health care is being used to deny some basic rights to women. Personally, I'm a little torn by the reality of the situation. This legislation is controversial (even though it shouldn't be), and with such extreme conservative opposition, I think it's understandable that some compromises may have to be made for the greater good of the bill. I'm sorry that it's these particular compromises, but given Republican tendencies toward single-issue voting, I'm not surprised that the abortion issue came up. I'm sorry that conservatives have taken a complicated issue that will impact millions of lives and essentially whittled it down to "no abortion, or no health care." I want to see universal gender equality and human rights granted to all, but if I only get to pick one, I think I must choose the latter.

One of my closest, oldest friends was diagnosed with cancer a few months before we both turned 20. She went to the hospital thinking she was going to be treated for something particularly virulent, and discovered that she had a type of leukemia that was rare for her age, gender, and ethnicity. It almost killed her, and in the past 4 years she has been through multiple rounds of chemotherapy, had a bone marrow transplant, spent countless days in hospital rooms, had an iv port surgically implanted in her chest, endured graft vs. host disease, and stayed in Seattle for 6 months of intensive treatment. She is still undergoing major joint replacements (I think she's had 6, but I lose track...) and physical therapy. She is just now getting weaned off her more extreme prescriptions (like methadone), but she still has to take so many pills just to get by. I cannot fathom what such extensive treatment really costs. She is extremely lucky to be part of a family that is fairly well-off; they had great insurance, and she got the very best care.

Compared to the rest of my friends, she is the exception to the rule. Outside of my family, the majority of the people I care about most (myself included) don't have any health insurance at all. We don't deserve to die, and our families don't deserve to be bankrupted for things that nobody can control. The free-market system might be the best economic structure, so far, in terms of raising the general standard of living for all (and correct me if I'm wrong about that; world economic history is new territory for me). However, there are certain inequalities built into the system, and those can (and must) be addressed by all capitalist nations, especially by post-industrial democratic superpowers like the United States. Although they are intertwined, economic and political processes are distinct functions of government. Maybe I'm being idealistic here, but I think that where one is weak, the other can be strong; where capitalism leaves some disenfranchised, democracy should be able to at least partially close the opportunity gap. The ability to go to the doctor when you are sick should not be a luxury in the richest country in the world. When politics become entrenched in ideological arguments and detached from the needs of real people, nobody wins.

Yeah, it's fucking ridiculous that the GOP wants to hold women's rights hostage to make a political point. It's absurd and disgusting that, at a time when their power has given them an opportunity to extend basic human rights to all, they'd use the same leverage to rescind a right that feminists have worked for decades to acquire. Wait, I'm sorry...they're not rescinding it, just indirectly revoking it for those who can't afford private insurance, i.e. poor people (who aren't really people anyway, I mean really).

But I digress.

What I'm getting at is this: I have almost $200 in prescriptions that I have to pay out of pocket every month, because drug companies are greedy about their patents. I have dozens of friends about whom I probably worry a little too much, because I have seen "the flu" turn out to be cancer. So, in light of what will continue to happen if the douchebag stalwarts don't get what they want, I'm willing to take a compromise. For now, at least.

Community matters.

2009-10-25T03:22:00.002-05:00

Life is not nearly as cut and dry as I expected. Sometimes there is no obvious right or wrong way to do things; sometimes there are only choices, and just because things don't turn out the way I expected doesn't mean that I made the wrong decision. I think we're all in this together, though. We're all just doing the best we can with what we have, and I think that's the most we can expect from one another.

Sometimes life is easy, and sometimes it's really, really hard; all we can do is to forget how we think things "should," be, and take the best care of each other that we can...and speak kind words to one another, and be patient with each others' faults, and forgive quickly, and apologize often, and share generously, and never ever let anyone live the sort of life where they have to go-it-alone.

Sometimes the whole world seems like a terrible, incurable, ugly place that I can't fix at all. I can, however, live a better life by sharing it well with whoever crosses my path - and I really believe that is beautiful and true. Even if we can't save this world from pollution and aggression and violence and hate and indifference and oppression, we can, at least, help save one another from the equally terrible disease of loneliness, and that in itself is no small thing.

I am afraid that all of this sounds trite and/or melodramatic, but I want to live closely with the people I love. I want that to be a common goal.

I have cared about the wrong things for too long.

"except that twitter is gay."

2009-10-21T17:27:00.000-05:00

Good point, Katie!

Here is something:

And here is something else:

Good day!

2009-10-18T06:44:00.000-05:00

Twitter has rendered this pointless.

2009-10-02T00:47:00.000-05:00

it's going to be alright.

I should get that tattooed on me somewhere.

2009-09-30T09:22:00.000-05:00

Disturbing: I keep dreaming about beating the shit out of very specific individuals who don't necessarily have real-life counterparts, but are still pretty clear archetypes.

More Disturbing: I really enjoy it.

2009-09-25T03:38:00.000-05:00

Re-blogged via Amber:

seen from a great enough distance i cannot be seen
i feel this as an extremely distinct sensation
of feeling like shit; the effect of small children
is that they use declarative sentences and then look at your face
with an expression that says, ‘you will never do enough
for the people you love’; i can feel the universe expanding
and it feels like no one is trying hard enough
the effect of this is an extremely shitty sensation
of being the only person alive; i have been alone for a very long time
it will take an extreme person to make me feel less alone
the effect of being alone for a very long time
is that i have been thinking very hard and learning about existence, mortality,
loneliness, people, society, and love; i am afraid
that i am not learning fast enough; i can feel the universe expanding
and it feels like no one has ever tried hard enough; when i cried in your room
it was the effect of an extremely distinct sensation that ‘i am the only person
alive,’ ‘i have not learned enough,’ and ‘i can feel the universe expanding
and making things be further apart
and it feels like a declarative sentence
whose message is that we must try harder’

- from cognitive-behavioral therapy by Tao Lin

2009-09-24T05:37:00.000-05:00

I think my 9-year-old inner child is pretty much running the show this week. Not a particularly good thing, but at least she's interesting.

I've been studying Spanish like crazy since Monday, and now I have a dozen sentences, in half as many tenses, buzzing around in my brainspace at warp speed. I'm starting to think in SPANGLISH. This is either ridiculous or awesome (probably both). If I start writing y or e instead of and, please gently remind me that I am an American, goddammit (and should therefore brush up on my...Navajo? You tell me).

2009-09-15T01:02:00.000-05:00

Things Bill Has Hidden Under The Couch Since We Moved and He Discovered How Much Fun it is to Slide Things Around on Wood Floors

3 headbands
Cat toys (all)
1 shoulder rest (for violin)
2 rolls of tape
6 pens
2 pencils
1 Wii controller
53 cents (change, various)
1 fork
1 package Ramen
16 bobby pins

2009-09-13T05:32:00.001-05:00

Weirdness, if nothing else, seems to be my one real constant, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

My life rules, and my friends rule. I want to soak that up as often as I can, especially when it's as visceral as it is tonight.

Petulant.

2009-09-11T20:14:00.001-05:00

Will there be a day when my brain-switch flips, and I suddenly become responsible? Or will I always avoid taking care of the need-to-take-care-ofs until I absolutely must? It seems that no amount of intellectual understanding of the adultifying process makes it any easier for me to make adult decisions, (especially when they're so BORING.) I'm young and stupid, and I know it. I just want to enjoy the former without embracing the latter too fully. Maybe I should just stop worrying, accept that I'm in my 20's, and bask in the ennui of it all. Life just is, and I want to be in it without constantly anticipating the Next Thing. I know there's a balance in there somewhere; I guess I'm just anxious because I feel like I'm taking too long to find it.

Also, some Disney Channel observations, because I'm watching it right now:
1.) Why is that 12 year old wearing more makeup than I am?
2.) If you're going to peddle unnecessary shit to preteen girls, take your responsibility seriously and sell them a doll who loves to read, or who comes with a microscope as an accessory instead a fucking purple wig. What the hell is that saying? "Dream big girls, and someday you, too, can be the prettiest"? WTF? If I ever have children, I am totally going to be one of those moms.
3.) Kidz Bop is THE WORST.
4.) At least this channel shows the Fresh Prince. Do the Suite Life of Zach and Cody fans watch it and love it, or do they switch to Cartoon Network when it comes on? I hope they love it.
5.) The Tootsie Roll Pop commercial with the kid and the owl is still on! I feel better about everything now.

As much as I see myself as stuck in adolescence, pop culture is starting to make me feel like a grown-up.

2009-09-08T23:18:00.000-05:00

I was just reading through the inbox of my old Yahoo account, and I found a forgotten love letter/e-mail from Barret (same ex referenced here) written in Binary. I hope I appreciated how awesome that was at the time.

It's raining pretty hard now, and because of all the trees on my street, I heard it coming a block away. I really like that.

2009-09-01T01:32:00.000-05:00

Yo soy un hombre sincero

De donde crece la palma,

Y antes de morirme quiero

Echar mis versos del alma.

Yo vengo de todas partes,

Y hacia todas partes voy:

Arte soy entre las artes,

En los montes, montes soy.

Yo sé los nombres extraños

De las yerbas y las flores,

Y de mortales engaños,

Y de sublimes dolores.

from poem #1 of Versos Sencillos, by Jose Martí

2009-08-31T01:56:00.000-05:00

All momentary angst and frustration aside, life is pretty good, you know?

Weirded Out

2009-08-20T02:18:00.000-05:00

As of October, EVERY SINGLE ONE of my closest, dearest high school friends will be married*, with the exception of a few who are gay. I am disturbed by this in ways I cannot quite articulate. Not that marriage is bad, but...ask me how I feel about it in another 10 years, ok?

*Jessica is not currently married, but she is divorced and has a baby, so it more than counts.

Thanks, Laura!

2009-08-06T01:05:00.000-05:00

I usually hate memes, but this is one is fun! Also, I will probably feel really self-conscious about posting this sometime within the next 12 hours, so hopefully that will motivate me to write something relatively interesting soon.

"bold means i’ve read it.

italicized means i own it but haven’t read it yet.

bbc says that most people have only read 6 out of these 100 books." (which sounds like bullshit to me, but whatever)

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell (are you kidding….?)
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hossein
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno – Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Final thought, re: the inclusion of The Da Vinci Code in this list:

What, not Twilight?

2009-07-24T01:14:00.000-05:00

I have my phone back, and my flat tire is (finally) fixed. I move next week, but I still haven't managed to pack anything. I have to work in 6 hours. Two of my favorite ladies are about to embark on faraway adventures. There are so so so many things I need to pay for, and no money at all to pay for them. I don't know how I'm going to pull any of this off.

But in 6 days, I will share a house with two of my favorite people in the world. I've only been at my new job a week, but (knock on wood) I think it might be a foot in the door for getting real experience in what I actually want to do with my life. I'm going back to school in less than a month, for real this time. I have wonderful friends who are so smart, talented, capable, and fun that they could rule the world.

From moment-to-moment, I am extremely anxious, worried, stressed, and TIRED, but in general, I am really excited.

I'm finally starting to learn what it means to balance reckless impulses with good decision-making. I'm starting to remember that life is hard, but it is good.

I could easily claim that she's foreign.

2009-07-11T04:30:00.000-05:00

Actual text from my mom:

"Annie sorry i dod not get right back to u. Cuz up? this stupid phone guessea wrongly what i want to say mom"

Repeat it to yourself in a vaguely eastern-European accent, and you'll get what I'm saying.

2009-06-25T03:47:00.000-05:00

Saw a trailer for this tonight, and wanted to throw up in my mouth a little. A lot.

Listen, girls: you might be smart, creative, fun, motivated badass babes, but we all know that you'll never really be satisfied until you have a man in your life, and - let's be honest with each other - your merits as accomplished human beings just don't cut it in the dating world.

Fortunately, men are totally stupid and all they really care about is boning, so embrace yourself as the sexual object that you are. If you have intelligence, fetishize it. And stroke that ego - no man wants to date his equal! And never forget - if you put out enough, he just might hang around long enough to get to liking you for real.

2009-06-21T07:41:00.001-05:00

My dad is on Facebook.

And my stepdad's band is on last.fm .

2009-06-17T03:55:00.001-05:00

I always feel bad complaining about money because, relatively speaking, I'm incredibly privileged.

Still, buffalo sauce and stale corn tortillas are a terrible snack.

...................................

For 6 or 7 years, I have regularly (at least once a week) dreamed about my teeth becoming loose and falling out, one by one.

For the past couple of months I have had a lot of dreams in which I beat the living shit out of somebody I despise on principle, but don't know personally.

6 years of birthday blogs

2009-06-09T04:39:00.000-05:00

2003

Happy birthday to me.

Now I can see R movies.

Alriiiiiiight.

......................................................

2004

My birthday is this coming Wednesday - June 9. I shall be 18 years old, and you know what that means...ADULT SWIM!

......................................................

2005

Here's a story: I climbed up on my roof around one this morning, realized that I couldn't get down the same way I got up, and got stuck for about twenty minutes before I finally just jumped for it. It was every bit as exhilirating as I had hoped it wouldn't be. I will most likely do it again...although maybe not in a skirt next time.

Happy birthday to me!

......................................................

2006

Birthday week 2k6
If you still want to get me a gift, all I want is a really small Darth Vader costume, and a really big Darth Vader costume, so Barret & I can roam the city and see what happens. Is that so much to ask? If any of you want to make that dream a reality, I'll have you know that I've already purchased the masks, so you can leave that bit out. But I do still need the helmets.

My birthday was on Friday, when a number of significant things occurred. First of all: for the first 4 1/2 years of the Guantanamo Bay detention center, there wasn't one detainee death. On Friday, Bill O'Reilly visited there. Within 24 hours, three detainees had hanged themselves. Personally, I spent several hours on Friday in a hot car that wouldn't move. Alone. In Topeka.

Big ups to my mom & Paul for the 6-hour Walker, Texas Ranger marathon VHS, and a heartfelt "thank you," to all of you that wished me a happy birthday. You're all darlings. Really, I mean it...I love all of you.

Livin' the dream in '06 baby, WOO!!!

......................................................

2007

BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER.

I never want to not be on a moped.
I have the best friends in the whole world. I mean it.

Soap opera line I just overheard:

"Look, when I was a science experiment, growing up with my fake parents..."

......................................................

2008

It was my birthday yesterday. I drew you a blog. Here you go!

......................................................

2009

Grenada, creepy homeless dudes, Dune, roof drinkin', and most importantly: my first swim of the summer. Big ups to Ciera, Brooke, Sean, Rob, Zach, and Battlestar Galacticat. Pre-emptive ups to everyone else who with have more birthday adventures with me soon.

It's birthday week, y'all!

2009-06-02T00:01:00.000-05:00

"But won't this empty-desert freedom you feel now someday be confining?"

William Chainsaw Wallace

2009-05-23T03:51:00.000-05:00

Bill just gave me three nose-kisses, and then fell asleep in my lap.

I have the best cat in the universe.

Happy (belated) birthday, Lil' Braveheart!

This American Life

2009-05-22T03:18:00.000-05:00

I listen to NPR programming fairly religiously, and I particularly love This American Life. I've been listening to it for quite a while, and a few weeks ago, there was a broadcast that I think was probably the best episode they've ever put out. It is here:

http://www.thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?sched=866

Do any of you have favorite episodes of This American Life that you especially love? I would like to hear them.

College, ugh.

2009-05-19T04:23:00.000-05:00

I'm seriously debating whether or not to stay in Lawrence after the Fall '09 semester. I can't waste any more time being denied readmission to KU for failing to jump through fine-print prerequisite hoops they neglected to mention in any one of our numerous meetings over the past two years. I need to just graduate already. If I am not enrolled in KU by Spring '10, I will not be living in this state by the time the Fall '10 semester comes around. I'm looking for a school that offers an undergrad in Graphic Design or Visual Communication, in a town that is at least as excellent as Lawrence, with reasonable non-resident tuition. Oh, and I don't do hot weather. No.
Does anyone have relevant information to share?

Paul (for those not familiar with my family: married to my mom, excellent dude) once told me that if you put in enough time & hard work, it's not too hard to make money doing something you like. So my question is, how can I get paid to not wash my hair? I would probably never do that again, if I thought I could get away with it.

Let's end this on a $UMMER NOTE: who wants to take hallucinogens and watch Stanley Kubrick films?

Oh. MYGOD.

2009-05-07T03:03:00.000-05:00

You know how, every once in a while, you'll do something so stupid that it launches you into a fugue of disbelief, where all you can think is, "I can't believe I just did that!"?
Well, today, my spastic tendencies culminated in an instant of unblemished absurdity.

I accidentally flushed my keys down the toilet.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

Who even does that? The only other moment I can recall that rivals this, in terms of pure disastrous hilarity, was the time I decided I'd like to see a plastic dinosaur tied to my ceiling fan fly around my room (I was 15, okay?), only to have it go sailing straight through my pane glass window the second I turned on the fan.

When you've been as awkward as I am, for as long as I have, you learn to accept these things. I mean, I've had a lot of these instances, some more destructive than others, some more amusing. You'd think I would be able to stop them by now, or at least anticipate them, but I still continue to be surprised by my ability to do completely stupid things before I can even process what's going on.

Thank god I keep spares.

Sick.

2009-05-06T18:58:00.001-05:00

I just washed my jeans for the first time since easter.

I didn't know that was happening.

2009-05-03T23:50:00.001-05:00

Thanks, annie!

she doesn't know this is happening.

2009-05-03T03:12:00.001-05:00

AND IT'S JOHNSTON WITH A 'T', IDIOT

2009-05-01T22:09:00.000-05:00

"No. No, no. NO! I don't want to ask your mom about the ghost."

- Annie on the phone just now, sounding distressed

You learn something new every day.

2009-04-30T01:00:00.000-05:00

Today I discovered that my cat absolutely FREAKS OUT at the sound of my recorded voice. Bill is fine when I talk to him, and he's entirely indifferent to other recorded sounds, but if he hears my voice coming from anywhere besides me, he totally loses it, and tries to kill whatever device it's coming from. Have any of you tried this with your cat(s)?

Also, I just realized that, before I moved to Lawrence, I hadn't spent more than a year in one place since I turned 17. No wonder I've been feeling so stir-crazy for the past six months. Gypsy blood, I swear.

2009-04-28T23:33:00.001-05:00

Persian music is so good!

Ants are taking over my coffee table! Assholes! Where the hell did you come from? I'm super clean, maybe even obsessively so! GET OUT.

If this isn't perfect, I don't know what is.

2009-04-24T03:48:00.000-05:00

More Recommended Listening

2009-04-17T00:42:00.000-05:00

Patty Griffin
Living With Ghosts

This album is pure singer/songwriter folk-influenced perfection. I've loved Patty Griffin for a while now, and her entire discography is flawless, but Living With Ghosts (her acoustic debut, released in 1996) is the gem of her collection. It's the ultimate sing-at-the-top-of-your-lungs-while-driving album, and I highly recommend it to anyone who is into soulful folk-y girls who sing like champs.

"I feel stronger and weaker at the same time."

2009-04-14T01:43:00.001-05:00

Today Annie & I went to Pet World and held baby bunnies. Calm, soft, perfect baby bunnies that fit in the palm of my hand. It was by far the best experience I've had all month.

Awesome.

2009-04-11T03:19:00.001-05:00

Between The Buried and Me - Colors

This album is mathcore/prog metal perfection. I forgot how excellent it is. I cannot stop listening to it, especially track 3.

Video Games

2009-04-08T03:49:00.000-05:00

I can beat pretty much anybody at Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2. I don't know if I should be proud of this, or ashamed.

A few things.

2009-03-31T06:14:00.001-05:00

1. I hate it when people say "this one," "that one," or (especially) "these ones." STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT.

2. More and more, I find myself wondering why the hell I picked an art major. Surely this isn't my strongest suit.

3. I really should have thought about the aforementioned issue FIVE YEARS AGO.

4. I just typed sixteen pages of medical dictation with ZERO errors. Hey-oh!
So basically, if all else fails, I'm at least intelligent enough to be a secretary.

In other news, I am really shitty at sleeping like a normal person.

2009-03-29T06:20:00.001-05:00

It's six-twenty a.m. Kansas time. I have puke in my hair, and it sure as hell isn't mine.

God, fuck self-conscious bullshit.

I'm in Arizona and it fucking rules. My sister rules. I wish we lived in the same city.

"Natalie...you're 3 for 2!"

Recent e-mail exchange between my dad & I

2009-03-26T04:02:00.000-05:00

Dad:

Me: Hahahaha! just got this. Nice. It looks like Shepard Fairey's work (www.obeygiant.com), where did you find it?

p.s. Bill for president!

Dad: Get Bill the President neutered

---------------------------------------------------------

He should know that no real revolutionary lets anyone take his balls. Just ask the narrator of Fight Club.

Severe weather.

2009-03-23T19:37:00.000-05:00

My apartment doesn't have a basement, so in the event of a tornado warning this spring, I'm going to the Taproom. They have snacks, t.v., a basement, and most importantly, beer aplenty.

Also :

DO WANT.
$45 from veer.com

2009-03-19T23:35:00.000-05:00

This is what I used to look like.

2009-03-13T18:54:00.001-05:00

Junior year of high school. Note: terrible haircut.

I have been looking for a pair of glasses like these since the day I broke them 7 years ago.

A few other things:

I feel really good about things. I'm happy with the decisions I'm making, and comfortable with the balance I've struck between being responsible and experiencing as much as I can (ill-advised or otherwise) while I'm still young enough to absorb the consequences. This is a nice place to be.

Lawrence friends: I have one thing to say to you, and that is "Spring Break '09! WOO!" We've got a whole week, and I just want to bask in the nice weather and maybe do some drugs.

Chicago friends: I am sorry that I still haven't visited you yet, but I will see you soon enough.

Faraway friends: Time and distance are making fools of us. Let's hang out sooner rather than later.

That's all I've got.

YOU CAN DO IT.

2009-03-08T04:01:00.001-05:00

it's true.

2009-03-06T00:51:00.001-06:00

My sleep schedule is whack because I keep staying up until 1:30 to watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch. What is wrong with me?

Oh, and I really really want this/to work for Crayola.

Maybe I'm just gross...

2009-03-03T01:26:00.000-06:00

...but I have a recommendation to make. I came up with this after realizing that the saucy ricotta detritus is actually my favorite part of lasagna. I've been eating it for the past couple weeks, and I'm totally into it. Mix 1/2 c. fat free cottage cheese with 1/4 c. of your favorite pasta sauce (I'm a big fan of Ragu's 7-herb tomato), and heat it up. It's super high in protein, low in fat and calories, and the sauce adds a serving of veggies. Also, it's vegetarian, and if you substitute this for the cottage cheese, it's easily vegan. Unlike my previous diet-coke-and-coffee suggestion, it's not as weird as it sounds. Try it!

Oh gosh.

2009-02-20T19:34:00.000-06:00

It's 7:30 pm. I'm talking to Annie on the phone. She's drunk and drying to convince me to go see Madea Goes to Jail with her. I'm totally sold. I love my friends.

In other news, I'm making positive changes and feeling really good about it.

The first sentences of my 7 favorite books.

2009-02-13T00:56:00.001-06:00

In a valley shaded with rhododendrons, close to the snow line, where a stream milky with meltwater splashed and where doves and linnets flew among the immense pines, lay a cave, half-hidden by the crag above and the stiff heavy leaves that clustered below.

I can see by my watch, without taking my hand from the left grip of the cycle, that it is eight-thirty in the morning.

All this happened, more or less.

I first met him in Piraeus.

In a certain village in La Mancha, which I do not wish to name, there lived not long ago a gentleman-one of those who have always a lance in the rack, an ancient shield, a lean hack and a greyhound for coursing.

The primroses were over.

Once when I was six I saw a magnificent picture in a book about the jungle, called True Stories.

Nosebleed

2008-12-16T17:12:00.001-06:00

Today I felt terrible about almost everything.

2008-12-14T23:07:00.001-06:00

People keep making fun of my giant-hooded-sweatshirt-cape, but that is only because they haven't tried it on. Come on guys, it's not like I'm wearing it out of my apartment yet.

I often have dreams in which I find myself fighting to stay awake so I can accomplish something important (usually fleeing from disaster or saving the day).

It feels like trying to fight off sedatives, and knowing that if I can’t, I’m dead.

Everybody!

2008-11-18T02:29:00.000-06:00

This fall has been really terrible, but I've still enjoyed it, more or less. Tonight was one of the better nights of the semester. Annie H., you are a CHAMP.

Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me!

2008-11-02T00:27:00.000-05:00

News Limericks game, I would rule you so hard.

Carl Kassel, I want you on my home answering machine!

"Zut alors!"

2008-10-19T02:54:00.001-05:00

Note to self: you are not using this interjection as often as you should.

2008-10-12T20:20:00.000-05:00

I've been making zombies for the past few days, and this fake blood just won't come off my hands.

Can a combined lack of sleep and over-consumption of sushi make you crazy? Because I'm starting to feel pretty weird, and I'm not sure what else to blame it on.

This fall is going by so quickly; I need to do a better job of savoring it, and a worse job of being stressed all the time.

I miss Laura.

Finally, ugh, and also ugh.

*edit*

Apparently, I'm not the only one who responded to that New York Times slideshow with my gag reflex. If you like bikes & sarcasm, I think you'll appreciate this scathing commentary.

Three-for-One!

2008-09-30T01:25:00.001-05:00

Dear Health Insurance,

I miss you.

Love,
Arianne M. Cordray

.....................................................................................

I've been dying in most of my dreams, lately. I don't believe that dreams have meanings, but it's still kind of freaking me out.
.................................................................

Most unexpected Rick-Roll ever:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkRYKMPKLQ0

fin.

Um?

2008-09-21T03:28:00.001-05:00

I still don't know where my car is.

I haven't talked to my dad in a month. It's his birthday tomorrow. I guess I'm calling?

Where are all my friends? Quit deleting your blogs.

I (finally) got a job. Come to ATC, sell me your clothes.

I should be on a bicycle right now.

Seriously?

2008-09-09T15:56:00.001-05:00

You gotta be a real asshole to tow a legally parked car with a flat tire.

Concerning record stores.

2008-09-05T02:40:00.000-05:00

Ok: I have been looking for The Beatles' 12" LP, "Meet The Beatles," for a few years now. It was the second album The Beatles released in the U.S., and - more importantly - it was my mom's first record. She doesn't have it anymore, so I want to get it for her birthday. I've already checked at Love Garden, and I am woefully ignorant of my other alternatives. I'd rather not buy it online, since I a.) would rather support local business if I can, and b.) am mildly paranoid about financial transactions via the internet. If you know anything I should, tell me. Thanks!

p.s. - Annie, where did you go?!

Bullet Points

2008-08-29T15:26:00.000-05:00

Last night, I dreamed that I was lucid dreaming. Whoa.

Here are some illustrators I've been appreciating lately (images link to their respective artists):

Shitstorm!

2008-08-23T23:07:00.001-05:00

"Entropy casserole," returns ZERO results on Google.

I've been reading some of Ammon Hennacy's writing. His life is fascinating, his ideals are compelling, and on the whole, dude is pretty rad.

School is back, which means that everyone is about to be extraordinarily busy. Annie has suggested once-a-week Family Dinner Nights, and I agree - I also think that we should also reinstate Barggle. We are going to be a FAMILY, goddammit, whether you ungrateful little snots like it or not. Don't make me turn this car around.

I'd like to end this on a desperate note:

OH GOD, OH GOD, I NEED A JOB SO BAD.

Various things

2008-08-16T02:27:00.000-05:00

1. If you know of any decent work opportunities in the Lawrence area, particularly those that are not jobs that require me to hold (relatively) still for long periods of time, let me know. I would like to work downtown and/or somewhere I can ride my bicycle. I would also prefer to not sell my soul to The Man until they at least offer me reasonable compensation. I am experienced in selling people shit they don't need, meal-cooking, table-waiting, and baristahood. I can also: scale walls and crush ice; remodel train stations on my lunch break; write award-winning operas; manage time efficiently; tread water for up to three days; bake 30-minute brownies in 20 minutes; ride a bike uphill very fast; play the bluegrass trombone; build large suspension bridges in my backyard; design corduroy evening wear; hurl tennis raquets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy, and perform open heart surgery. Thanks!

2. More thanks to: Jon Nicklas for being a seriously rad friend; Laura Watkins, for telling everyone in the Taproom that I have Space Herpes; Jessica Layton, for adorning our apartment with a scythe; and Annie Harrigan, for having the cutest crank-wheel I've ever seen. That last one sounds like a double-entendre. For the record, this is a crank-wheel.

3. I'm putting the entire recently-returned-to-Lawrence student body of KU officially On Notice. You better keep your asses in line this year, or I'm going to start running you over with my bicycle, instead of politely swerving out of your way, into oncoming traffic, when you step RIGHT in front of me. Like you do now. You've been warned.

4. For that matter, the Admissions office can also consider itself On Notice. Why don't you hire more people during August? It should NOT take you two weeks to process my transcripts, you cheap bastards. And put a few clocks on campus while you're at it.

5. That's all I've got.

biblical plagues

2008-08-05T16:47:00.000-05:00

I just came home from work, and discovered a FUCKING TARANTULA in my bedroom. After multiple aborted approaches, I finally trapped it under a glass bowl (where I can keep my eye on it). I have no idea what to do next. If it fails to escape within the next few hours, I will absolutely keep it there until it dies. Bill keeps tapping on the glass like he wants to play with it. I told him that if he was a dog, he would have killed it for me. But he's a cat, and now I'm going to die in my sleep because he's going to stick a stupid little paw under that bowl & let it out. God dammit.

2008-08-02T05:20:00.000-05:00

I am the only person I know who thinks this is absolutely hilarious.

Summer is almost over, and I didn't really do any summer-y things this year. I feel pretty bad about that. If you want to swim in a lake this week, PLEASE let me know. I really want/need to do that before I go back to school.

Do I have to have titles?

2008-07-25T09:48:00.001-05:00

Semester: over.

Los Angeles departure: t-minus forty five minutes.

I: still haven't packed.

*LA update*

I made it alive, but I think I am going to die here from constant sensory overload. It's SO much noise, and SO much activity, and it NEVER STOPS. I want to be by myself, and I want it to be quiet. I'm kind of (definitely) freaking out. How does anyone live here?

Oh, and I saw The Watchmen trailer tonight. HOLY SHIT.

Still feeling strange

2008-07-10T21:49:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I dreamed that I woke up on the lawn of my apartment building in the middle of the night, with a groggy headache and no recollection of how I got there. I tried to ask my neighbors what happened, but they had been dropping acid all night and were of no help at all. I woke up scared, and had to go outside and walk around before I could believe it wasn't real.

Today I got an A on my midterm portfolio review.

It's still summer.

2008-07-08T19:41:00.000-05:00

I am worried & uneasy about so many things.

birthDAY!

2008-06-10T21:27:00.000-05:00

It was my birthday yesterday. I drew you a blog. Here you go!

By the way: in response to my lack of regular computer access, I've been secretly drawing these "blogs," for a while now, in the hopes of posting them at a later date. I suddenly have scanner access, so I will probably back-post somewhere between "a few," and "a shitload," of these at a later date.